Some Like it Hot

She is JUST like those nuns that used to crack the fingers of children with rulers.  LOL.  Menopause is a phase, a joke, a nightmare and the inevitable outcome of a life well lived up to the point of change-over into the beauty of the Crone. 

But getting there.  Wow.  Your body is no longer your own.  You don't know her moods, her temperature, her favorite song anymore.  She becomes a bit of a brat.  Things don't taste right. Or everything tastes right.  LOL.  Ten hours of sleep are not enough of course she needs twelve now!  She's hot.  She's cold.  She is stone freakin' in control one minute and the next - oh look there goes a chicken!  Or, worse yet, she bursts into tears in the middle of yoga class for no apparent reason other than she was suddenly sad, again, for no apparent reason.  You don't get along so fabulously with her right now and damn did I mention the hot flashes?

I was a very young menopauser.  LOL is that a word?  Well, it is now.  I have been told this can happen to anyone but a combination of never having children, never being on artificial hormones (birth control and the like) long-term, and any number of other factors can begin the process earlier than average. 

My main issue with all of this was not the menopause itself.  I did not feel like I was "losing my womanhood" as so many chicks describe.  Uggghhh, I never had a particular need for that anyway.  My main issue is really the hot flashes.  Even now, post-menopausal, I have them.  I mean, I can deal with the sudden sadness and even bursting into tears after a hard run.  Shoot, I'm fine with being a little bit crazy.  But, the flashes....  Someone bring me a portable ice bath and I'll make it work.  I might even build a cart to pull it around with me just in case I need it.  

Currently, at my office, the girls simply laugh with (or is it at) me while I stand at the copier peeling layers of clothing off at any given moment, only to put them right back on five minutes later when I got from a bizzillion degrees back down to my normal sub zero.  Which is why it is so annoying.  I'm cold blooded.  LOL.  I've always been cold blooded!  I'm the girl that gets the teeth chatters on a frosty morning.  I hate air conditioning.  I have a foot heater under my desk year round.  LOL.  Well, I'm still cold blooded.  Only, around 17 times a day at any given moment, for the past seven years, I'm an internal inferno.  And it pisses me off!  Which makes me even more hot.  LOL.  

I've tried all the FAQ "cures" and now I am down to herbal assistance.  I won't say "remedy" as I think it is simply a matter of degrees (no pun) with something like this.  You just manage it.  No real cure.    

 

 

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