If you visit me here once in awhile you might notice that this site has changed. I am in the process of rebuilding, or at least redecorating, my cyber parlor.
Why? Because it was time. I will be building this bit by bit so there isn't much here now but be patient... ;)
It is the beginning and the end of the year for me and I am feeling pretty run down and also a little off kilter. I can't say I am having a crisis of faith. It isn't that profound. I have been, however, having a mild identity illness I guess you could say.
I have been feeling rather uninspired and overwhelmed by things I should not be overwhelmed by. I haven't felt much like blogging. I haven't felt at all like podcasting. So, I haven't really done either of those things. I have an entire three years worth of blogs I will try to get somehow transfered to my new "house" but I can't even promise that will be anytime soon. Sometimes life catches you. Sometimes it makes you let go.
I have accomplished many things this year. Most of them matter in the long run, some of them might and others probably don't. Time to sort them out I guess.
Today is Samhain. We are in the aftermath of a helluva storm on the east coast and although my particular area was not hit very hard, both north and south of us was. Sam's mom is staying with us, as she lost power on Monday with an expectation of it not being back on until next week. My Samhain became low-key very quickly, which is fine with me. More and more I realize that my spiritual life is so wrapped up within my mundane life. I have simple ways and practices that fly completely under the radar of the world.
Tonight my ritual was to light my jacko, pour wine and peel poms while listening to a ritual playlist, humming along in the kitchen while Sam and his mom looked at pictures in the other room. I blessed my animals, took the dog with me and made my way outside - spread pom seeds for the faeries and our gnome. Took the faery garden summer wind chime down, carried it with me to the woods and threw offerings for the deer, gave the fish bread. Came back inside, took pom seeds and wine to my pet alter, blessed them and looked upon all the animals that I have loved. Drank to them.
All this without pomp and circumstance. All very very personal.
Bells and whistles are wonderful. They just are not, nine times out of ten, me.
So, however you are celebrating. Blessed Samhain to you and happy Halloween to all. :)
So, it snowed here. LOL. This was what Frankenstorm brought us. And our gnome, Poppy, is not happy. How is a gnome supposed to plan for a proper Samhain when it is snowing?
He does sort of resemble Santa though doesn't he?
The main thing that struck me in the introductory portion of my book of study for the season on Druidry:
obviously this is
the Druid is firmly rooted in the earth, the land....and that interacting with the world, here and now, is spiritual.
I can't even express how this resonates with me. I have always had an odd pull between the simple earthy magic that I practice and believe in and the way I learned of magic. Basically, as my introduction to magic and Paganism was through Wicca, I learned that there were rules and rituals and things that should not deviate from what was written. Obviously to a great extent I got
over that. LOL.
My alter moves wherever convenient, might not contain the same things from season to season, I sometimes miss moon phases but remember to talk to bugs in the morning fog, I'm not much on spellwork and prefer to immerse myself in what I think of as "natural ritual" or old-fashioned earth magic. For instance - my horse has sarcoids. I'll employ every option. I'll have the vet visit and treat. I'll use home remedies I have researched and I'm not above rubbing a penny on them and placing it in the earth if I feel it will help.
So, despite my very structured beginnings with my spiritual practice, I still continue to believe that what I do magically is much more base, much less ornate, much more a simple acknowledgement in the magic of everyday life.
If you think about it, there is so much going on around us. I find it fascinating. I look at a day in my life: I do a lot of things before I leave my house, including caring for animals and household chores.
I think all magic is worthy and perfect in its own being. I think all spirituality is as well. So long as it brings the seeker what he/she defines as belief and comfort and it is not pushed on or hurtful to others, let it be. Know it, explore it, believe it and shine within it.
Even the most simple (and sometimes least appealing) tasks can bring me peace. Mucking horse stalls is like meditation to me. I feel so useful, grounded and centered when doing barn work. This is spirituality to me just as much as setting up ornate alters and performing complicated spellwork. To me it is probably more spiritual actually - these practical matters. And so in being drawn to the earth this way I am in turn drawn to search deeper into my own path and see where it leads me.
Too much static. That is life lately. Too much to do, see, read, too much contact, too much stuff, too much...nothing. Makes me paralyzed. That is how I have been feeling in relation to my own self. My true self. The person I know that I am. I feel like I am stuck in this rut of "I will get to that" and "I mean to" and "next week I will"... And although I have had very productive days at work AND at home lately I still feel like a little mouse running on her wheel. And I wonder if the wheel has a damn thing to offer anymore except that it is the same kind of wheel I have always been on. Maybe it is newer than the last one, or a different color but still, same process, same wheel more or less.
This is not about work, or quitting your job and hiking across Australia or anything like that so don't get excited. LOL. It is more personal than that.
And more small. It is about one small part of me that has been a very big part of my life and I am coming to see it as less important, although still needed. More of just a cog in my wheel, less of the wheel that my world spins around. This is good. It is that recent post about the physical aspect of ourselves that I am working with. My body and soul are good with my plan. It is my mind
that lags behind, tied to old patterns. It is my mind that needs something else to do so that she will let go.
Having just returned from travel, which always tends to inspire me in one way or another and this was no different, I do generally take stock of emotions, feelings and where I am. One thing is for certain. I need to take FULL advantage of everything the inner season has to offer. This little mouse has a mind wheel that is spinning too fast, too much, too far away from what makes me feel at peace. I need to get off. My mind, needs to get off this particular wheel and be a productive portion of the person I am.
My study book arrived while I was gone. My fun book as well. The leaves are falling at an amazing and colorful rate. The ponies are getting fuzz and the air is crisp. A perfect time to redefine priorities and immediate futures. I plan to slow down, step off the treadmill of crazy and take full advantage of the season.