...But different. Today is Saturday and I dusted off the website with thoughts of possibly blogging, something I haven't done in months. A year? I don't know. Other than a recap of my summer with Takoda the other day I have scarcely even remembered I have a website, blog, etc. The reasons are vast and varied. I hope to change all that with the coming Dark Season but...that is not what this post is about.
I was reading my last post in this particular blog where I talked about how odd and unsettling it was that I was no longer engaging in my Sunday barn ritual of hanging out and riding. That entry was almost a year ago and despite a period of life without horses and a tentative re-entry into the equine world I find myself once again with a regular Sunday routine of gathering at a barn with like-minded women, sharing time with the most incredible creatures on earth; horses.
Time heals just as certainly as it ticks away. One aspect we are thankful for only when we look back and realize that old wounds have grown less raw. The other we scarcely notice until the enormity of what is now the past crashes upon our very being.
There are moments when I wish time would stop. Maybe not in that particular moment but in the general experience of something that is bringing me joy, or hope, or some sense that things are right with the world. Time reminds me that these moments cannot be captured. As perfect as they are, they flow in and out of existence and eventually become the past. At some point we begin to say things like "remember when we..." and it is only then that we realize time has marched on. We mourn moments just as much as we mourn those we love who are gone from us now.
As I look at the picture that goes with this post it reminds me of time and the changing of our lives. We face the Fall and look out into the field no longer as green as it has been. With our backs to the past we look ahead. Let us not forget to be present.