In my best dreams I have a Coven or a Grove or some other earthy, magical group that I spend these days with. We celebrate, we eat, we drink, we share and care. But, alas, I remain a solitary solider in a world that doesn't understand why certain days, times of the year, ideas, feelings, or places mean so much to me. Or have a much different meaning than they do to them.
Life as a solitary child of the Universe requires a certain amount of self motivation. It is kind of like going to the gym. Most people need a buddy. Spiritual buddies are harder to find than gym buddies.
But, still, here we are at the beginning of the Dark Season and I am humbled by Nature. I am awed by it and the process of the turning of this wheel we watch, touch, feel moving through our lives. It is always surprising to me that despite my loathing of winter and even while dreading its icy grip, the time between Samhain and Winter Solstice is absolutely magical for me.
I feel so in tune with myself and close to the earth. I want to lie in the leaves and feel frost on my face, breath in that smell of decay from the season before and know that the Hush is coming. I want to prepare like the squirrels and be ready for the darkness.
Nothing that mattered before matters during this magical time. Things slide away and move to the basement of myself where they should be. So connected, so in tune with my own heartbeat, so clear is the drum that I dance to all by myself. The road to darkness is almost like a trip away from everyday for me. I feel like I can reflect. I feel as if I understand. Yes, Universe, I "get" it ~ even as the whispers from my soul are quietly speaking, I hear her loud and clear.
I am a creature on fire. There is a dragon by my side and he fuels my spirit. Nothing matters. Nothing but the stairway to the longest night. Walk it well, drink in the ritual that we have lost and make it whole again. On padded feet and through the hooves of deer I feel the earth beneath me and I know...I know that I am a part of it all. I'm connected to this journey and can touch magic, even if only for these brief moments as we descend.