Only better. I was recently treated to a medical verification of a suspected shift in my being. That is I am now, officially, a Crone. It is odd to me, we humans and how knowing something in your own mind brings you relief and a certain level of comfort but knowing something supported now by blood tests and other standardized medical means can bring peace, acceptance and in my case, planned formal celebration. LOL.
I could be odd I suppose. Well, OK, that's a given. But this phase of my life is such a welcome one. I can't even begin to describe the freedom I feel and it has nothing to do with any sort of freedom of the physical sort. Oh, no, it is much, much deeper. Much more complex. Much more interesting. Just like the Crone herself.
I have always always always been fascinated with the Crone. The old wise woman. The witch who lives in the mountains. Why have I always been fascinated with her? Because she knows things. Because she keeps secrets, her color is black, she walks in the darkness and sees all, she is harsh, yet she is kind, she is fair, yet her wrath is sure, she is deeply moving and connected and she is so close to the veil. She is callused and worn but strong as iron. I am fascinated with her because her time for proving herself is past. She IS proof. There is a freedom in that like no other.
To me this isn't about giving up, slowing down or letting go. It is about embracing it. ALL OF IT. Life and every lesson learned. Experience and every gift it has given. Purpose, meaning, knowledge, truth - all these are the spirit of the Crone.
And so I go forth armed with everything that is now in the past. In celebration of everything that has been and what will be. It seems very right to me and most comfortable. It seems like a home that has been waiting for me. And now, I have arrived there.