I find that mostly, people do things because of an alterior motive and normally that motive has something to do with them and what they want. Really want. Like, deep down. And specifically here I am addressing the motive behind the need to be liked, accepted, even....popular. Everyone wants 1000 "friends" or more on Facebook. Everyone wants as many Twitter followers as the celeb down the street. Really, we have no celebs down our streets but if we did... Everyone wants to be appreciated by their co-workers and valued by their friends and really isn't that also just a damn popularity contest?
I have never quite figured out the knack for popularity. I have found myself having it at odd times and for what I considered the most stupid reasons imaginable. For instance, after being the favorite bully target for my entire grade school career, I got popular in 9th grade because over the summer I had grown boobs. It was ridiculous really and I knew it. I began to find the reasons for popularity so absurd that I started to actively seek being ANTI-popular.
Being anti-popular doesn't mean being hated. It doesn't involve being outright mean or snarky. It more means to me being your own sort of creature and being OK with that. Being anti-popular has had rewards. A thick skin is formed with practice. Learning to hear and recognize the beat of your own dance, whether it is coordinated or not, does have merit. Laughing outloud at yourself and others is highly underrated as a stress reducer. Speaking your own mind, whether the thoughts that come from it are the most sought after of the moment can give you your own voice.
Of course there is the stigma attached to not really giving a shit about fitting in. Also, people confuse being anti-popular with not caring about anything at all. As if because it doesn't matter to me how many Facebook friends I have I am somehow flawed. I don't care about the right things to the extent that I should. I rarely ask how a random person's weekend went while attempting to make small talk before a meeting. I really don't care so why would I ask? I don't enjoy shopping with girls or gossiping about family matters. I'm not a fan of designer purses, jeans or leggings that cost $180 a pair, but I'll be damned if I will drink bad beer. My chick compass is a bit "off" and it does make for a more uphill walk through the park of life.
So, at various times and for various reasons I have tried to lessen my disdain for all those perfect, wonderful, white-bread people of the world. I have attempted to look on the brighter side, smile and promote myself and join the ranks of those chasing fame, whatever form it may take in a person's life. I find it exhausting mostly. So, I always go back to being anti-popular. Still, it stings doesn't it? I work hard. Even my "hobbies" get the amount of attention most people give their actual job. At certain points I do find that as a whole, I am a bit too prickly for most people, too opinionated, too stand-offish. Rest assured I am only appearing that way because I am observing, therefore protecting what little sensitivity I have left after all these years. Either that or I really do think you are an idiot.