Sadly I do not have a review of World War Z and have missed it at the
theater. I know, right? I suck. Not even worthy of being a zombie fanatic. My excuse is that every single time I was going to go something came up. Now, alas, it is the DVD waiting period. Maybe I will have a perfectly full zombie fall, you know, with TWD coming back on and all...
But, Sam and I have caught some movies over the past couple of
And as a result I have coined a phrase. Remember it because I will use it again. I am in a state of entertainment dissatisfaction. Severe dissatisfaction. This is worse than being dissatisfied with food, clothing or sex my good people. Entertainment is my oxygen. How can this be happening? It is summer for Hades-sake. Everyone knows summer holds the best movie gems EVER. WTF is going on?
A couple weekends ago Sam and I went to see The Lone Ranger. This was more Sam’s choice than mine. I agreed because Johnny Depp was in it and plus there were horses. LOL. I make lots of entertainment choices based on actors and whether or not there are horses apparently….
WHAT.A.BORE. OMG there was nothing really good about this movie at all. It dragged along. Tonto was
basically Jack Sparrow without the spark or the flamboyance. The writing sucked. The acting was…well, no one even seemed to be interested. Simply awful. God. Tonto didn't even GET a horse until the end of the movie. LOL.
So, I thought OK, one bad movie can't be followed by another, right? Well, today I seriously had time to nap in the theater and really wish I would have had that second pint because I could’ve used a good nap. It is summer after all. I am overworked and tired.
Pacific Rim. Really? OMG so I had only seen maybe one preview for this movie but it was getting good reviews (I’m not sure how this happens) from not only critics but movie watchers. The premise is that there are these aliens, see? Only they don’t come from space they come from under the ocean floor and they are attacking the world and they are really big. REALLY BIG. So, we, being the industrious humans that we are, build these big ass hollow robots with “pilots” manning the arms, legs, weapons…
I’m not sure what the combination of yaaawwwwwwnnnnn was for me. I like sci-fi. I like action, and I love crazy visual action and special FX. Character development? I guess it tried. Maybe? It just fell way short in every way. I thought maybe for a minute it was because I don’t like robot movies. Although I loved the first Transformers despite grudgingly going so that isn’t it at all. I liked that robot movie with Hugh Jackman from a couple years ago... So, I can't blame robots. This entire movie was like a wanna-be almost remake of something sort of like Independence Day marries Godzilla only without Will Smith and the humor and holy crap was it suck-o-rama. The thing was with Independence Day for instance – like I still watch it whenever it happens to be on. Great rainy day fun movie. Like, you care about these people. And it is funny. Really funny. But I tell ya with this movie I did not give a shit whether or not any of these people today got ate, or squished or whatever else giant dinosaur-like creatures do to people. LOL. I just wanted it to be over. I got restless leg syndrome going on at one point. I went to the potty twice. The second time Sam tried to catch me up and I said - I got it and didn't care whether I had or not.
Blllaccchhhhh we should have seen The Heat everyone is raving about that one... We won't see comedies in the theater though. We are cheap like that. LOL.
Anyway - reaching for good points. I was damn glad to see Max Martini on the big screen. Love that guy. You have to find the little things in a bad movie, see?..... Oh plus there was a dog. Did I mention I had a beer before hand? Yeah the beer was cold. LOL. I’m reaching here people…. So, anyway now I am home. And being in a state of entertainment dissatisfaction always makes me sad. And lost. It is like a missing link in my well being...
I need my escape and I NEED it to be appropriate and satisfying. Bummer day.
And the previews sucked too! The ONLY preview I would even consider seeing would be the new Thor,
which is not until November. Until then I just may be reviewing TV or DVD rentals…
Escaping reality - one movie, book, fantasy at a time :)