Ahhhh…. Critics. They suck mostly. LOL. So, Sam and I did what we do often this weekend and tried to catch up on some stuff that we missed in theaters or forgot about or…whatever. So Sam brings home a $6 copy of Sucker Punch on DVD and I said – oh I remember we wanted to see that but it didn’t get very good reviews….
I will quote: though it might delight fans of comic books…it will do little for fans of narrative, plot or character – USA Today. Or: Fantasy movie only a palpable hit for extreme boys – Washington Post. Or: It might look like $80 million dollars but you’ll never get back your two hour investment – Quiet Earth.
Obviously these are just clips of full articles. Some of the gripes in full (but shortened) –can’t keep track of all the story lines (are you really that dull and getting paid to critique movies?), possibly too predictable (well, shit Sherlock someone has to die, right?), or the sets/plots don’t mix – IE WWII with cyborgs (Ummm, have you played any video game in the last ten years?)…but the MAIN gripe – the girls have on the wrong clothes to be superheros. Ya, know, they wear heels. Or fishnet stockings. Or, (gasp) short skirts! OMG and they purse their lips!!!! OMG OMG OMG!!!! OK, so the girls are too…girly. I got it.
No, really, I got it. To be real superheros I guess we gotta wear – leather jumpsuits right? Is that acceptable? Cause, ya know, both Catwoman and that girl in Avengers wore leather jumpsuits and they were believable. **Scratching head*** (Don't get me wrong I liked them too LOL).
Admittedly, I am a girl who loves guy movies. I fully admit it all the time. I love it when shit blows up and people kick ass. If it is chicks kicking ass so much the better. I loved Kill Bill up to the point until I realized that it was about the baby. Really does everything with women HAVE to be about motherhood?
Blacccchhhhh…. But, up until then I was pumped is what I’m sayin.
So, I LOVED this movie. Why? Well….it has to do with more than short skirts.
OK, it begins with a very believable situation. Not in full as in every detail but the reality of children and
abuse. It happens daily. It is ugly and real. It moves into fantasy quickly. A kind of Cinderella on crack fantasy yes but it is really a fairytale of the video game age for the most part as our heroine finds herself first pawned out to a mental hospital from Hell, then set for a lobotomy, then fantasizing her way into a magical world with a mission.
The visual aspects are amazing. For anyone who games there are scenes that look like a PSIII platform of heart pumping battle.
Yet, the visual aspects seem to also be what critics complain about. THE visual aspects under complaint are mostly the cast, as they are for the most part female and dressed like strippers. Because in one reality they ARE strippers (duh) but also they tend to be scantily clad while in the battle reality too. To which I say –really????? You are complaining about THAT? Have you played a video game with a female character? EVER?????? My chosen character in an OLD video game – Baldor’s Gate for anyone counting years – was always an Elf and she wore very few clothes. But she had a big sword and AWESOME taste in shoes.
I personally was happy to see some chick skin. You know why? Because every girl in this movie looked like a damn girl. Whether “enhanced” or not (who knows I just assume everyone is these days) all of them had boobs and not one of them had chiseled, six pack abs. WHY does this make me happy? Because,
despite all manner of FX and enhanced video game-like graphics, what I see is chicks that look more like Dita Von Teese wielding weapons instead of the latest Pinterest bullshit that tells me my hourglass is not only yesterday but actually distasteful.
Further, I loved the theme of a brothel as a backdrop for empowerment. I do not think that critics, especially male critics, fully understand the “place” that we have “enjoyed” as the female portion of society as a whole.
The knowledge that truly, should a man wish to overpower you, he can. Period. Don’t argue this with me I have lived it. So, anytime there is an opportunity to fantasize about another reality, I’m up for it.
As to the female mystique as a whole, we have what we have. People loath to hear that. People also loath what we have and the power that it has. The “new” feminists would have us deny it exists. I say "new” because I have never considered this mindset actual feminism. They want us to buy into the emasculation of the feminine if there is such a thing. And actually that phrase is accurate as to emasculate can mean to make (a person, idea) weaker. To be more blunt - the de-femination of women would be more descriptive. Although I don't think de-femination is a word. Here I go making shit up again...
But, critics seem to agree that there cannot be a movie about empowering women with the backdrop of a video game or a brothel. Those women also cannot wear fishnet stockings. They should all wear pants and not shave their legs. Or purse their lips. God forbid they purse their lips…
Hobbits here we come! Today we are to venture out into the cruel, cold world in search of fantastic creatures and mind blowing 3D.
Will report back on what we find!
POST MOVIE: LOL very great movie! Oh, jeez I love that Middle Earth. Gosh I wish I lived there. But OF COURSE who had to pee and missed Galadriel's entrance? MEEEEEEE. So, will have to wait for at home viewing for that particular awesome moment. Boo to having to potty. Arrrgggghhhhh too many pints beforehand.
It has been years since I last read The Hobbit so at certain points Sam or I would be like - oh oh I remember THIS part. And I was digging the tie-in to LOTR and certain phrases and hints that all was already not well in Middle Earth even as Bilbo went on his fantastic journey.
But, you know what I simply CANNOT WAIT for? About four or so years from now, one will be able to watch the entire saga, from start to finish, in chronological order! OMGosh it will be a grand affair, full of good dark brew, food enough for a rowdy bunch of dwarf party hounds, and approximately 18 to 20 hours of Middle Earth right in the middle of my Man Cave.
Ahhhhh.....dreaming of my future.....
Escaping reality - one movie, book, fantasy at a time :)