In the world of buying and selling there are very few things that are certain until the day that you are sitting in some attorney's office signing papers and writing checks. Things progress quickly in the beginning with negotiating prices, getting information together for lenders, scheduling inspections and such and then....
Then there are the daily ups and downs and the never-ending waiting. Waiting for answers on reports, lender requirements, further negotiations based on inspections, etc.
At this point nothing is for certain on where I will be living in two months. The farm seller has been getting a bit hinky about fixing what is his responsibility to fix (and there is a lot of it because his sister has let it go to hell, frankly) and I had thought there may be things that we wouldn't be able to agree on. Now he has missed the deadline for counter on the inspection demands and seems to have dropped off the sanity map, so to speak. By all rights, I could walk away as of 12:01AM this morning. By all reality, I most likely will anyway if he remains dead set on not taking ownership of the leaky roof, the electrical components that are not within code and a structural inspection. It is a foreign concept to me, this attitude of oh, I know it is mine but you deal with it. Yet, I guess lots of people have it. This place has been on the market on and off for the past four years so I would hedge to say that I'm your only hope Obi Wan....GET.A.CLUE.
Whatever. Anyway, one thing seems clear. I won't be living here as of the end of April. My house is under contract, the inspection is on Tuesday and I don't foresee any major issues, the loan process for the young couple purchasing appears to be going along fine and my house passed the other required inspections a year and a half ago so... Farm or not, I am 99% sure that I will no longer be occupying this humble abode as of April 27th.
LOL. It has been so nerve-wrenching it is comical really. I asked our business manager yesterday to start saving me cardboard boxes because, well, if I have to buy a hippy van and live out of it I will need to get a storage unit for all my stuff. One way or another, this shit is traveling off this hill and to somewhere in April. I don't really have many options and the ones I do have are less than ideal. If there ever was a time where someone who is hell-bent on being in control of her life has absolutely no control, this is it. The daily roller-coaster of emotions that I've described in other entries has given way to a monotonous hum. It puts the lotion in the basket. That's where I am. Truly, it is a shrug of the shoulders kind of feeling and then I say fuck it, I'll figure it out.
This weekend will be spent finishing up some minor projects to prep for the inspection on Tuesday. Next week and weekend are going to be spent doing some super serious purging. It is time to pay some stuff forward and minimize like I never have before. I'll be giving the Marie Kondo method a serious shot in the weeks ahead in an effort to not only make moving things easier but to free my mind from the trappings of uncertainty and stress caused by stttttuuuuuuffffffff....
Now, to be clear, I don't have a ton of stuff piled up and stuffed into closets, etc. People already consider me a minimalist of sorts and compared to the societal norm, I probably am. Some friends commented when my house was for sale that it was so "neat and tidy" it almost looked staged. I do however, have things, like everyone does, that no longer serve me (meaning they don't bring me particular joy and/or I haven't touched them or worn them in years, etc.). Clothes, books, things like that. They are good things, meaning they aren't junk. But, I do not need them. And if I do not need them, maybe that is the way of the Universe reminding me that someone else does.
There are then those things that I simply can't purge. I understand the concept - that material things do not hold value in our souls, memories do. But, if I took my mam-maw's china (which I never use) to Goodwill I would feel such a tremendous guilt that I...well, I just can't that's all. And I have not one set but two sets plus a set of china that my mom got me at some estate sale one time. THREE sets of unused china. Do I strike anyone as a china using person?????? But, alas, it will all be boxed up and put somewhere because that stuff I simply cannot purge.
My animals are a whole other issue I can't even think about right now. Rowdy and I could sleep in a tent if we needed to but the cats? How am I going to move Obi to a transition space and THEN move him again? It will be bad enough moving once, let alone twice. He'll be completely out of his mind and he's already on antipsychotic meds so it isn't like they are a new option we can go to. Lilly? Mehhhhhh, she'll do fine with whatever so I guess I only have one freak child to worry about. Then I think again - whatever, shrug.
My best friend was saying last night that this is the reason he will probably never sell. Such a crazy up and down emotional process and there are always so many things that need taken care of just TO sell... I said....whatever. LOL. Given that I truly may be a gypsy within a matter of weeks I am at least thankful that Takoda still has a home for the time being. I don't know that a pet deposit would cover a horse sleeping in the spare bedroom.