I hesitated to even speak of this because I have always been a huge believer in the karmic Universe. Only my karmic Universe includes things like - don't speak of anything good until you are 100% standing in the middle of whatever it is your are speaking with who/whatever you are speaking about because if you do you will ruin it.
Not a very good attitude to be certain. But, I'm cautious. Well, I'm WAY more than cautious. I'm a cynical pragmatist who has been taught (and taught very well) that in this world you must claw and fight and defend what you have and what you want and you must never, ever trust that there is any reason you should have it, other than your sheer will, determination and ability to muster brute force when needed. My Viking ancestors would be proud. LOL. However, it is not a very positive outlook I am aware.
In the spirit of Yoga Camp, which I've just completed, I keep remembering Adriene's comment one day that the Universe is for me. Not that everything in the Universe is for my consumption mind you but that to look at it as an extension of one's hopes and dreams, to believe that the pursuit of one's goals and happiness is not a bad thing and that the Universe is actually pulling for you. I'm not sure if I'll ever get "there" but I'm trying.
So, I made an offer on a farm. To my amazement, it was accepted (again, I had fully prepped myself for a walk-away immediately). And so begins the long and stressful journey of actually purchasing said farm, selling my own house, etc. There are TONS of opposing forces against a set of stars that need to align exactly right at precisely the right moments. There are inspections and such and more importantly, as with most house switches these days, my house MUST sell in order for me to purchase the farm. Hence, I have what is known as a "wipe-out clause", which simply means I can get out of the deal if my house doesn't sell. A wipe-out clause protects me but also allows for others to still look at and make offers on the farm.
It is sure to be a prickly few months, this upcoming spring, full of probable daily ups and downs. I am trying to only think good thoughts and as my daddy says "keep your eye on the ball, girl" - which is amazing since he is one of the people who taught me that the Universe is most definitely NOT for me, but alas, age and wisdom I guess.
So, for now, for just a few moments, I am letting myself drift into thinking about waking up every day and looking out my bedroom window to see my horse (and my friend's horse, who will be living there too), watching the sun come up over this amazing field behind the house, tending to chickens, knitting sweaters for rescued baby goats.... Maybe I should ask friends that actually CAN knit to make sweaters for baby goats... I'm allowing myself to hope and dream, which is something that I have not done for a long, long time.